Nutty Cheese Ball Recipes

FISHER NUTTY BACON CHEESE BALL

Steps:

• Place cream cheese in mixer bowl. Attach bowl and flat beater to mixer. Turn to speed two and mix 1 minute. Stop and scrape bowl. Turn to speed Two and gradually add milk, mixing until well blended about 1 minute. Stop and scrape bowl. Add cheeses, onions, pimentos, half of the bacon and half the pecans. Turn to speed 4 and beat until well blended, about another minute. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Transfer mixture to a large piece of plastic wrap. Form into a ball and wrap tightly.
• Repeat with the remaining mixture. Refrigerate (or freeze) at least 2 hours.
• Combine the remaining bacon and remaining pecans, parsley and poppy seeds in a pie plate. Then, remove the plastic wrap and roll the cheese ball lightly in the bacon/nut mixture until evenly coated. Wrap it back up in a plastic wrap and refrigerate until ready to use.

WORST DATE EVER NUTTY CHEESE BALL

Steps:

• You should have known that it wasn't going to go well when he arrived to pick you up for dinner on his Segway. As if it wasn't awkward enough having to walk briskly along beside him, craning your neck to make eye contact as he rolled down the sidewalk, there was the added talking point of his jaunty little straw boater. What was he thinking? What were you?
• Now you are starving because he took you to a raw food restaurant and then announced that everything was, "Real expensive, so don't go crazy." You were totally not prepared for him to whip out the calculator to determine, to the penny, what you ate. Once safely back in your own apartment-alone!-make yourself a nutty cheese ball because that's exactly what that clown was. Mix together cream cheese and pineapple.
• Take a quick peek out the window to make sure he's gone. What? Is that him, lurking beneath the lamppost? Oh, great, not only was he a lousy date, but now he wants to stalk you? Why is it always the losers that you can't get rid of? Wonder, "Why can't the really good-looking and successful guys be the stalkers?" as you put walnuts in a ziplock bag and crush them with a hammer, pounding on them like he kept pounding his fist on the table as he ranted endlessly about how nobody listens to him at work.
• Add diced green pepper and celery to the cheese. Roll cheese mixture into a ball. Try not to think about how he kept adjusting his balls during dinner, saying, "Damn, boys, sit still!" And especially don't think about the several times he actually reached down inside his pants and then with the same hand reached over to your plate to fish a piece of zucchini out of your raw lasagna.
• Roll cheese ball in walnuts and vow not to ever, ever again go out with a man you met at the ninety-nine-cent store.

NUTTY BACON CHEESE BALL

Steps:

• Place cream cheese in mixer bowl. Attach bowl and flat beater to mixer. Turn to Speed Two and mix 1 minute. Stop and scrape bowl. Turn to Speed Two and gradually add milk, mixing until well blended about 1 minute. Stop and scrape bowl. Add cheeses, onions, pimientos, half of the bacon and half the pecans. Turn to Speed 4 and beat until well blended, about another minute. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
• Transfer mixture to a large piece of plastic wrap. Form into a ball and wrap tightly.
• Refrigerate (or freeze) at least 2 hours.
• Combine the remaining bacon and remaining pecans, parsley and poppy seeds in a pie plate. Then, remove the plastic wrap and roll the cheese ball lightly in the bacon/nut mixture until evenly coated. Wrap it back up in plastic wrap and refrigerate again until ready to use.

NUTTY PIMIENTO CHEESE BALLS

Steps:

• Process cream cheese in a food processor until smooth. Add Cheddar, Monterey Jack, mayonnaise, pimientos, onion, garlic powder, salt and pepper and pulse to combine. Scrape into a bowl, cover and refrigerate for 30 minutes or up to 2 days.
• Place pecans in a medium bowl. Roll the cheese mixture into 1-inch balls and coat each ball evenly with pecans.
• Serve the cheese balls at room temperature or chilled.

NUTTY CHEESE BALL

Steps:

• Place all ingredients except pecans and crackers in mixer bowl.
• Attach bowl and flat beater to mixer.
• Turn to speed 4 and beat about 1 minute, or until well blended.
• On waxed paper, shape mixture into a ball.
• Roll ball in chopped pecans.
• Wrap in waxed paper.
• Refrigerate until serving time.