New Mexico Chili Cook Off Recipes

ANTHONY BOURDAIN'S NEW MEXICO BEEF CHILI RECIPE

Steps:

• Preheat broiler and position rack as close to the broiler heat source. Line the bottom of a broiling pan with aluminum foil (this will catch any juices from the peppers). Place poblano peppers on top of the broiling pan. Place under the broiler. Let cook until peppers' skin is blackened, turning peppers with tongs so they blacken on all sides, approximately 10 to 15 minutes.
• Place peppers in a large plastic bag and loosely seal for 30 minutes. Remove and discard as much of the blackened skin as possible along with the stems and seeds. Use your hands. Don't rinse peppers under water, you'll rinse away flavor. If you want your chili to be hotter, leave in some of the seeds (source of the peppers' heat). Coarsely chop peppers and set aside.
• Repeat this roasting process for the hatch chile peppers. If you're using frozen (no need to thaw) or canned peppers (no need to drain), they are likely already roasted, peeled and seeded. In some cases they are already coarsely chopped, too - if not, then coarsely chop them and set aside.
• In a large mixing bowl, whisk together flour and about 2 teaspoons each of salt and freshly ground pepper. Toss beef in the flour mixture to coat. Heat 2 tablespoons of oil in a Dutch oven (at least 5 quarts) over medium-high heat until just smoking. Add beef in batches and sear until dark brown on all sides. Be sure not to crowd beef too much. Using tongs, remove cooked beef to a plate. Continue to cook remaining beef in batches, so you're not crowding the beef pieces.
• Add onion, garlic and jalapeño peppers to the pot and season with salt and freshly ground pepper. Cook over medium-high heat, scraping the bottom of the pot with a wooden spoon to dislodge browned bits. Add an additional tablespoon of oil if necessary to keep the caramelized bits of onion mixture and beef (know as "fond") from scorching. You can also add a splash of stock at this point. Cook for about 5 to 7 minutes or until the onion has begun to soften and brown.
• Add cumin, coriander and Mexican oregano and cook for an additional 2 minutes.
• Stir in tomato paste and beer. Bring to a boil and cook until liquid has reduced by about two-thirds. Scraping the bottom of the pan to loosen any bits of fond.
• Stir in stock and return beef to pot. Add reserved poblano and hatch chili peppers. Bring to a boil and reduce heat to a simmer. Cook, covered for 2-1/2 hours or until beef is fork tender.
• Remove chili from heat and serve in bowls with chopped cilantro, corn chips or flour tortillas and a wedge of lime. A splash of acid always brightens the flavor.

NEW MEXICO CHILI COOK-OFF

Steps:

• CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI.
• Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
• Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
• Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These New Mexicans are crazy.
• CHILI # 2 - EL RANCHO'S AFTERBURNER CHILI.
• Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
• Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
• Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
• CHILI # 3 - ALFREDO'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI.
• Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
• Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
• Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting sh*t-faced from all of the beer.
• CHILI # 4=2 0- BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC.
• Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
• Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
• Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. Woman is starting to look HOT -- Just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?.
• CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER.
• Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Jalapeno peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
• Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the jalapeno peppers make a strong statement.
• Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them.
• CHILI # 6 - VARGA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY.
• Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
• Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb.
• Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.
• CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI.
• Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
• Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
• Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing. It's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
• CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI.
• Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
• Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?.
• Judge # 3 -- No report.