Drunken Fruitcake Recipes

DARK FRUITCAKE

Steps:

• Gather the ingredients.
• Place candied fruit, ginger, raisins, currants, cherries, walnuts or lemon rind, orange marmalade, lemon juice, brandy or orange juice, and vanilla and almond extracts in a large bowl; toss well, cover and let stand overnight at room temperature.
• Grease, then line the bottom of a 10-inch tube pan with wax paper. Preheat oven to 250 F.
• Sift together twice the flour, cinnamon, nutmeg, mace, cloves, allspice, baking powder, and salt, and set aside.
• Cream butter until light, add sugar gradually, and continue creaming until fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition.
• Add to dry ingredients, about 1 cup at a time, beating just to blend. (Note: Unless you have an extra-large mixing bowl, you will have to transfer batter to a large kettle at this point.) Mix in the fruit mixture.
• Spoon batter into the pan and, if you wish, decorate the top with halved candied cherries and walnuts. Place on center oven rack; half fill a roasting pan with water and place on the rack below. Bake uncovered, 4 1/4 hours until cake shrinks slightly from sides of the pan and a metal skewer inserted midway between the edge and the central tube comes out clean.
• Cool cake upright in pan on a wire rack for one hour. Carefully turn out, peel off the wax paper, turn right-side up and cool thoroughly.
• Wrap in brandy or rum soaked cheesecloth then in foil, and store in an airtight container about three weeks to ripen. If you wish to store it longer, sprinkle cheesecloth wrapping with 2 to 3 tablespoons brandy or rum at 3-week intervals.
• Enjoy. Recipe Source: by Jean Anderson, Elaine Hanna (Doubleday). Reprinted with permission.

DRUNKEN FRUITCAKE

Steps:

• 1. 1. Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
• 2. 2. Sample the whiskey again to be sure it really is high quality.
• 3. 3. Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again, to be absolutely sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup of it and drink. Repeat. Turn on the metric elixer, beat one cup and add some butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat the mess again.
• 4. 5. Make sure the whispey is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Break two bowls and add to the egg then chuck in the cup of fried druit. Throw in the flour. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sip some more whiskey before adding to the mood fixer!!
• 5. 7. Add the baking sofa, you sure could do with a lie down now!! Where's the wottle of biskey gone? Stir in the soda if you can find the mixing cup and that wooden spoon thingy.
• 6. 10. Now sample the whiskey again to check for tonsilsisity. Next, sift two cups of salt, or something like that. Who cares? Check the whispy. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add another tablepoon of sugar or whatever you can find. Add some of the Whipsy if there's any left.
• 7. 13. Grease the oven, turn the cake tin to 850 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window, check the whiksy, whipsisky, cup another try, try again, have another drinky, where's that oven? And go to bed.......or have a snooze, what the heck!!! Yum Yum! Zzzz! Zzzzzzz!!!!

DRUNKEN FRUIT SALSA

Steps:

• Stir together mango, strawberries, kiwi, jalapeno, mint, and rum in a glass bowl. Refrigerate for 1 to 3 hours, stirring once or twice.